Friday Recap
Thursday marked the end of seven weeks back on Weight Watchers. In seven weeks I’ve lost 19.6 pounds. Unfortunately, I only started taking measurements a few weeks ago so I don’t have a record of my measurements for the whole seven weeks. BUT, I do know that I’ve lost six inches…three inches each from my waist and hips. I measure my hips, thigh, bicep, bust and ribcage as well and haven’t lost as much as a mm from those areas, but I’m sure that’s cause I’m getting so muscular from all my circuit training (HAH!) Ah well, I always lose from the bottom up so hopefully the rest of me will catch up eventually!!
Two weeks ago I bought a new pair of jeans and two skirts. They were all intended for when our family heads to Whistler for a conference at the end of July. Two sizes smaller than the size I started out at. I decided to try the jeans on this morning and crazily enough they fit perfectly. Don’t get excited, they’re what Reitmans calls Comfort Fit and what I jokingly call my non-prego maternity pants. They’re made of super stretchy denim. They also have no zipper; they’re just like high rise maternity pants. But, they’re also trouser style and really cute AND act as a bit of a girdle. Win-win I say!
I was so excited that these pants fit me that I threw on a pair of heels. I haven’t worn heels in about four years because I’ve been kind of scared of toppling over in them. Uh, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m kind of built like a tomato on stilts. And I’m almost 5’11” so that’s a long way to fall if I do topple. But, bolstered by my (almost) 20 pound loss and by fitting into jeans 2 sizes down, I decided to give the heels a whirl.
Surprisingly, it wasn’t keeping my balance that was the challenge. I just had to remember how to step softly in heels. I was trying to walk in the heels without making noise all day. Then I noticed one of the skinny girls from another department go stomping by in her heels. She didn’t care that everything was shaking, or that it sounded like a herd of elephants was coming. She just powered on by. So I decided to stop tip toeing around and strut with some attitude. You know, I’d forgotten how good heels are for your calves. I might have to wear heels more often again.
Once I got home from work, the day got a bit stressful. My kids haven’t been sleeping well lately, which means neither have I. So I’m tired. And they’re grizzly. Which is usually an excuse to binge. I managed to do really well until dinner time and then I had a hard time not bingeing. I did succumb to ½ a chocolate chip cookie (gourmet sized, not Mr. Christie sized) but I had the points for it, so all is not lost.
I had intended to go to the gym today after work, but I had to rush home early to get the kids. So then I thought I’d go when my husband got home, but that didn’t work either. I did get 15 minutes on my elliptical and then while hubby put the kids to bed I did day one of the Wii Active 30 day challenge. I’m not sure if I like it so far. I guess I’ll let you know tomorrow. I’m not too worried though since I do love my gym circuit and my elliptical. If I decide I don’t love the Wii Active now, I’m sure I’ll be interested in picking it back up again once I’m a few sizes smaller. In the meantime I’ll give it a few more days and let you know how I feel.
One thing, I’ve heard a lot of people online complaining that the leg strap doesn’t fit them so I was really worried that it wouldn’t fit me either. Well if any of you have a lot of weight to lose, let me set your mind at ease. I have still got about 100 or more pounds to lose and I’m tall. I had a good 3 inches spare on the strap so chances are it will fit you too.
This is only fun when I’m doing well…
Ugh. What a week! There were so many days this week when I just wanted to forget about the diet and eat whatever I wanted. This morning it’s the nice honey oat bread the kids are eating. I want to eat slices and slices of it toasted with peanut butter and jam. And butter and jam. And swiss cheese. And milch Kaffee and hazlenut yogurt…and see, now I’ve gotten started I could go on and on.
But I resisted. I did everything right. I tracked everything. I exercised. I even joined a gym last night. And the scale has barely budged. Two measly pounds. I know most of you would be overjoyed with that, and deep down I guess I know that two pounds is good. But after only getting a .8 last week, I was really hoping that this week’s WW Weigh In would be spectacular. And technically I have one more day. And that’s the only thing stopping me from a full out binge.
…well that and the cute skirts I bought for Whistler. They’re about a size too small so I’d better stick with the program.
NEXT week I swear the scale is going to be my friend.
Shrinking Into Summer: Week 1 Weigh In
Week One is over! woo hooo! Have I mentioned that Team Bronze is the best team ever?
I’m down 3.6 pounds since last Wednesday. I’ve been stepping on the scale every day though and most of that loss came from Wednesday to Thursday of last week. So I have to step up my game if I’m going to continue with numbers like this!
Victories for this week:
- I exercised every day except Saturday (when I did try to exercise, but got a little too excited and tried an exercise DVD that’s still beyond me. Can’t afford an injury now so I quickly reverted back to the elliptical!)
- I stayed on points for the week and resisted the temptation of birthday party food over the weekend!
- By hook or by crook I’m getting my daily allotment of fruits and veg in!
Challenges/Goals for next week:
- Write down everything that goes in my mouth. And be honest with myself.
- Add some weights to my exercise routine. Ideally I’d like to get to our local She’s Fit and do their circuit for a while, but I might just end up with the free weights my brother left me. We’ll see what my knee decides.
- DRINK MY WATER! Every day!!
- Find at least one new recipe to try. I’ve been using the same 5 or 6 dinner recipes and I don’t want to get bored. Any suggestions??
Drive
This week on her blog, Mrs. Fatty Pants asks, “What motivates you?” Which in turn reminded me of FoodFoodBodyBody’s posting on “why she wants to lose weight”. I think if you’re planning to make any big life change, it’s a good idea to write out the reasons why you are doing it. That way, on days when you’re feeling discouraged, you can go back and remember all the reasons why it’s worth it to keep going. At the same time, it’s also a good idea to know what motivates you. Sometimes you need to get deep to keep going. Other times, you just need to keep your eye on the prize.
So, what are my reasons for wanting to lose weight?
• I want to be healthy. I’m terrified of developing an obesity related health problem. And if it happened, I would be so humiliated; it would be nobody’s fault but my own.
• I know that I will embarrass my kids sometimes; it’s a fact of life. I just don’t want them to be embarrassed because they have a fat mom.
• It’s embarrassing (are you sensing a theme here?) when people have to squeeze past you because you’re taking up half the aisle on the sky train. Not fitting in an airplane seat (especially to a travel lover like myself!) is another one.
• I want to set a good example for my children. AND I want to learn as much as I can about healthy living so that they don’t have to face these challenges in their lives.
• When Andrew and I first started dating, he was obviously the computer geek and I was his hot(tish) wife. Now everyone tells me I’ve got a hot husband and I’d better watch out or I’m gonna lose him. While I have perfect faith in Andrew, it would be nice if he could have a hot wife again. Preferably before we’re geriatric!
• Believe it or not, I love things like hiking and swimming and biking. I`d love to be able to do those things just as a normal part of my lifestyle and not have to worry about dropping dead while I’m doing them!
• I LOVE clothes. And shoes. And for ten years of my life I haven’t been able to indulge in my extreme joy of shopping. That needs to change.
As for what motivates me, well, numbers on the scale are a big one. As long as I`m making progress, it`s easy to feel good about what I`m doing and to continue. I can resist cravings for weeks if I`m seeing good results at my weekly weigh in.
I also respond well to praise from those I love.
But that said, I haven`t found the magic ingredient yet. I`m only 3 weeks in to my latest battle and I`ve lasted longer than this before only to fall flat on my (rather large) butt.
In the meantime, what motivates YOU?
bah
Weight Watchers is SO different from Sure Slim.
As I mentioned in my last posting, I like the freedom of being able to eat all the foods that I love (in reasonable quantities etc. of course!) And I feel like it’s a better lifestyle choice for me. In other words, I could live like this. I couldn’t live like SS forever.
That said, the results I got on SS were spectacular. 60 pounds in less than 3 months and that with me cheating fairly often the last six weeks. If only I could find the willpower to do that again for five or six months. Then I could segue over to WW and learn how to live the rest of my life.
It’s not to be. And I’ve resolved to be happy with any losses because a loss is better than a gain (and hey, it’s better than a plateau too!) So this week I lost another 2 pounds for a total of 8.something in three weeks. Not as dramatic as SS, but I’ll take it.
Stacy and Clinton inspire a workout session…
I love What Not to Wear! I know I’m not the only one out there. I love watching ugly ducklings get transformed into beautiful women. I love watching the metamorphosis. Tonight’s episode was especially inspiring: It was a recap of episodes featuring women who’d lost substantial amounts of weight before appearing on the show.
As I settled down to watch, thoughts of ice cream and cookies dancing ’round my head, I suddenly remembered my beautiful elliptical waiting for me in the basement.
It was my Christmas present to myself. The elliptical is my favorite piece of gym equipment so I figured I’d be more likely to use it (than say, a treadmill. Which is supposed to be superior to an elliptical, but I hate it). Up until this week, I’ve excused myself for not using it because Andrew hadn’t gotten the little TV hooked up in the basement yet (oh yeah, I never accept responsibility for myself. Haven’t you figured that out by now?!) But I dragged his poor, sick butt out to Best Buy last weekend and made him grab some cables, so that excuse wasn’t valid anymore.
When I realised that WNTW was all about weight loss heroes tonight, I figured it was a sign that maybe I should hop on my elliptical and watch while I exercised. Good call on my part. Last night, I could barely manage 8 minutes on the thing. Tonight, I did 30 minutes. It was easier than I thought it would be…though my legs felt like jello coming up the stairs again afterwards.
Here’s some random insights from tonight:
1. I work out much better when I’m distracted. Or maybe I should say that the time passes much more quickly when I’m distracted. Because I was still working up a sweat, and it was a tough work out, but it was doable because I wasn’t watching the seconds tick by while I exercised. So I just have to plan on using the elliptical when I have something to watch on TV.
2. It’s much easier (right now) to exercise in the evening. Yes, I’m tired. But I’m always tired. I have two small children. I work. I run our house. I’m tired. So it’s not an excuse. But for now, getting up an hour early isn’t happening. On the other hand, by evening I definitely feel like I need to help my circulation out. So exercising at night seems to be working.
3. I realised that for some reason I don’t think I have a right to post on here unless I’m posting victories. The truth is, this whole getting healthy gig is a battle. I should know this by now. I’ve wanted to lose 10, 15, 20…100 pounds as long as I can remember. I remember being in elementary school and wishing I could lose a few pounds. This is the story of my journey and it’s not always going to be about victory..sometimes there will be challenges. I need to be honest about them.
4. Watching WNTW made me realise a few other things about myself. Obviously, I am not one of those fat chicks who can be fat and fabulous. Short of having Clinton and Stacy (and the crew from Biggest Loser) come and do a complete makeover, I don’t think it’s possible. It was hard enough to find clothes for my body when I was a size 10, forget the (horribly embarrassing) size I am now. But last spring, when I got down to a 14, it was a lot more fun. I need to celebrate the small victories. For instance, I have a pair of truly fabulous jeans in my closet. They’re one size down from the size I’m wearing today. I know that shrinking down one size isn’t that hard. Getting to size 14 might seem an impossible task. Fitting in those fabulous jeans isn’t. Small goals, small victories. I guess I’m saying two things. One, it’s a lot easier to meet a realistic goal than a general one. And I like easy. So I’m going to tell myself that this long, hard journey to becoming healthy is paved with lots of small, easy steps. That’s a lot more inspiring. Two, I deserve to celebrate my victories.
5. Which brings me to another thought. Though I envy all those fat, fabulous women, for some reason I feel like I don’t deserve to be fabulous as long as I’m still fat. For instance, fat women don’t deserve to wear heels. Who wants to see a tomato wobbling around on heels? It’s ridiculous. There’s certain colours I won’t wear, certain clothes I won’t wear because they’ll draw attention to me. And attention will just make people realise how ridiculous I look. So I hide in shapeless, dark clothing. And look even worse than I would if I wasn’t hiding. Those women on WNTW all looked like shapeless tomatoes tonight. In fact, when I saw some of them, I couldn’t believe they’d actually lost weight. But when they stopped hiding in shapeless, colourless clothing, they were gorgeous. Of course, I know this is true, but that doesn’t mean I can bring myself to stop hiding. Yet.
I’ll work on it.
I bet you all think I’ve fallen off the wagon, don’t you? Hmn, yeah I would too.
Here’s the thing. We’re moving in a month and trying to build a house and money is tight. And that’s embarassing. But I was thinking about it last night and hey, if I’m going to blog about everything else, well then there’s no shame in saying we’re broke. You’ve all been there. Right?
Between buying tile and mirrors and driving back and forth between home and the new home 7 days a week (that’s a lot of gas people!) there isn’t a lot of money left for groceries. So Sure Slim is kind of not happening right now. Which is too bad because it is a sure fire plan to lose the weight quickly.
After we move our builder will give us back all the money we’ve fronted. And then we can buy groceries again. So until then we’re living off veggies and potatoes, because hey…those are cheap. So…no dramatically huge weight losses to report. But no huge gains either. In fact, my jeans were decidedly loose when I put them on yesterday. So that’s a small success right there!
In other news though, ten days ago I had an attack which is becoming a little too familiar to me. I’ve had to give up coffee and I’m having to be very careful about the foods I’m eating. My mum told me that my attacks sounded like gall stones so I googled it and that’s exactly what my symptoms sound like. And let me tell you…more painful than child birth people! I don’t like that kind of pain, and I’d prefer to keep my gall bladder. So I will be watching what goes in my mouth very carefully from now on!!
Still here…
I am having such a hard time getting back into weight loss mode. Our life is insanely busy lately and especially this week I haven’t had time to grocery shop and we haven’t even been getting home till 7 or later every night. Which means that we’re lucky if I have enough energy to cook – let alone plan the next days’ healthy meals.
But life is always going to be like this. When we’re done moving I will still have school trips and work and who knows what else going on and I have to learn healthy habits now. Or else there will always be an excuse for why I can start living healthy next week.
So. No weight loss the past two weeks. Suck it up, princess. There is still plenty of time to get my butt in gear and lose a signigicant amount of weight for Christmas. And wouldn’t that be the best Christmas gift ever? Even better, I want to be able to go on a shopping spree for cute clothes for my birthday. Must keep my eye on the prize…
So, here’s the thing…
This whole diet thing is pretty easy (well, that’s not true. I’d never call it easy, just like I won’t call the jeans waiting in the back of my closet my ‘skinny jeans’. It’s easier and those are my skinnier jeans.) At least, when I’m busy it’s easier. The weekend swung by because we were rushing around the whole time. I barely had time to eat, let alone cheat. Then the week flew by. And even though my co-workers (who all know I’m doing Sure Slim) stored both the morning and afternoon chocolatey snacks in my office, on the desk next to mine (both before coffee break/staff party and then the left overs came back in the office again) and even though I dropped my breakfast all over the garage floor, I managed not to cheat. In fact, it wasn’t even too hard not to cheat.
But today I’m at home. I know that I eat when I’m bored (or stressed, or scared, or happy…) so I’ve been busy sorting out the kids rooms. I’m busy. I’m happy. And if I didn’t have to come downstairs for breakfast (because at 10 I finally decided I probably should eat it sometime today!) I wouldn’t need to eat at all. As long as I’m busy I don’t think about food. But then, when I’m in the kitchen? Suddenly I realise how hungry I am. Suddenly everything, even the cardboard in the recycling, looks delicious. Suddenly I have no self control.
But I’m doing okay. The few cheats I’ve made this week have been minor. Coffee with my breakfast and I let myself have a teeny bit of whitener in it. We went for Chinese for lunch yesterday and I got the beef ‘n broccoli. I seem to have found the determination I had last fall. So I’m hoping it sticks.
Tomorrow is my weigh in day so I guess we’ll find out just how well I’ve been doing this week.
My first goal I’m working towards? Fitting back in those jeans and the cute blouses I bought this summer and have never had the chance to wear!
Wellbeing
I’m a very lucky fat person. Because I’m tall I can get quite heavy before it starts to obviously show. At my thinnest I was about 165 pounds. Which on me is about a size 7/8. And even when I start to pack the pounds on, it tends to spread fairly evenly…which means it’s not too hard to camoflage.
Still, you can only pretend to be plump for so long. Eventually you have to face the fat.
And lately I feel like it’s been affecting everything. When I get over a certain weight it affects my moods. I’ve always tended towards depression. At that weight I can’t hardly pull myself out of the funk. Then there’s the other problems. I’m tired all the time. My legs start to hurt. My self esteem plummets. And I have to start buying new pants.
The last few evenings I’ve been feeling awful. Comparable to when I was nine months pregnant and my intestines felt overcrowded and inefficient and awful. It’s not a good feeling. And that was the impetus to jump right back into my program.
Upon reflection, it probably wasn’t a good idea. The key behind Sure Slim is to combine proteins and carbs in every meal, and then not snack. So when I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast and then decided not to eat for five hours? Maybe not smart. Even less smart? Deciding to distract myself for the last two hours by hiking around our hill with the kids. I barely made it back to the house!
You know, I could have decided to dump the program as it’s obviously not healthy if it’s going to have me swooning like a bad 1920′s actress. But it just proved to me how desperately I need to change my eating and exercising habits. And so, with my resolve strengthened, I begin day two.
